On Vampires…

My brain’s been wandering lately, and never moreso than last night, when I was left pondering Vampires. Guided by my insomnia, I started wondering — how do they work, exactly? I mean, I get the whole pointy-teeth-to-puncture necks thing, as I’ve got a fairly fearsome set of canines myself. I get the whole aversion to light thing — I’ve known more than my fair share of programmers. I’m not quite sure about the garlic, crosses or flowing water bits, but those seem to be more flexible items of Vampiric lore than the basic biting business.
And what I don’t quite get is why it’s so common in Vampire literature for the resident bloodsucker to keep the fangs engaged in order to feed. Are Vampire’s teeth basically hollow straws? Why couldn’t they dis-engage the fangs and therefore get more suction on their victim’s necks, and a better feed if it’s all going down their throats anyway?

About the author

Alex Kidman is a multi-award winning Australian technology writer, former editor at Gizmodo, CNET, GameSpot, ZDNet, PC Mag, APC, Finder and as a contributor to the ABC, SMH, AFR, Courier Mail, GadgetGuy, PC & Tech Authority, Atomic and many more. He's been writing professionally since 1998, and his passions include technology, social issues, education, retro gaming and professional wrestling.


  1. And also..what happens physiologically, genetically when the vampire’s suck turns its victim into another vampire? Do their fangs inject some kind of agent (like mosquito de-coagulant) that effects radical genetic mutation throughout the body and brain?

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