I didn’t steal 16 tonnes of ham and bacon..

No, really. It wasn’t me. Somebody did, but not me. I couldn’t lift that much at once, and it would take ages to eat my way through that much processed piggy. Did they think to question Nibbler?

I did write the following two reviews, live at CNET.com.au, however. That’s one that I will confess to. Can you stop beating me with that phone book now, please Mr Police-type-person?

Belkin N1 Vision Wireless Router:
“…they seem to understand that the average consumer doesn’t necessarily want a box of blinkenlights…”

Mio Digiwalker C320: “We installed both in a car, threw in three young children (to provide the necessary distractions from GPS instructions) and drove them all from Sydney to Adelaide, and then back again. Don’t ever say we don’t suffer in the name of getting a review just right…”

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