Everything you never wanted to know about sex, but have been forced to find out*

Today was surgery day, but in the interests of the audience — who may, after all, not be interested in the state of my wedding vegetables, or may just be squeamish — I’ve stuck it on a sub-page.
Click here for “The Snip Story”.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
* With apologies to Douglas Adams, and, of course Oolon colluphid. This is what happens when you read “The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe” when off your skull on painkillers — phrases stay with you. As an aside, the copy I bought to hospital with me was purchased in a 2nd-hand bookstore that I’m sure is no longer in Armidale, and I’m also sure you can’t get copies for the grand sum of $1.80 any more….

5 thoughts on “Everything you never wanted to know about sex, but have been forced to find out*”

  1. Mmm…
    I just saw my quack about the very same today. I know I should do this but the whole idea of wedding tackle and scalpels seems to be wrong.
    I guess if he slips I’ll be able to give the Mrs a new set of ear-rings…

  2. Ahh, a truly sad tale of woe and severed reproductory possibilities. I guess now that you have the soon-to-be legally mandated three children (one for you, one for the wife, one for the country) appropriate measures needed to be taken. Us country folk have a bit more leeway than you overcrowded city slickers. Not that I plan on taking advantage of that any time soon…

  3. Anthony: You could always take the advice of my church minister (who, it should be pointed out, has also had ye Snip) — “Alex, get yourself a bottle of Jack Daniels and a couple of bricks”… no scalpels involved. Sadly, I hate Jack Daniels…
    Christian: Given the difficulties we’ve had producing three kids — Di’s been edging closer and closer to a real problem birth each time, and was effectively bedridden from 17 weeks with Luc, it was by far the best choice. Anyway, once the Chinese call in their debt markers, we’ll all be on the one-child diet anyway — I was just pre-empting them.

  4. As Alex pointed out, I fully supported this. My body does not react well to pregnancy – and it has gotten harder and harder each time.

  5. Well, my doc has referred me on to a urologist so I’m going to make the appointment next week. As a three time daddy I figure it’s time to holster the weapon.
    Christian – By the way the real obligation is four kids. One for you, one for your partner, one for the country and one for your football club. At least that’s the case in Victoria.

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