Would you stay awake for fourteen hours, listening to the grass grow?

Eep. Where did January go?

Oh, that’s right. Everyone’s on holidays, or away from their desks, or over at CES, or busy de-lousing the cat. As an aside, and thankfully nothing to do with lice, my cat’s taken to trying to sleep on my notebook keyboard. All I can say is that it’s amazing what applications can be launched by a cat’s backside…Netguide Magazine. Featuring the writing of at least two people called Alex each and every month. Now that's a mark of true quality.

Cat rear-end humour still doesn’t stop the presses, however, which push more and more paper-based products through the finest newsagencies — and presumably the grubbiest, filthiest, skankiest ones too — as can be seen in issue 105 of Netguide magazine, which is on store shelves now. Within it, you’ll find a selection of my reviews, including the always-thrilling broadband buyer’s guide, as well as reviews of (customary deep breath here): Navman N40i, Road Angel Navigator 7000, Mio A701, TomTom ONE, BigPond Next G Wireless Broadband Mobile Card, Vodafone Mobile Connect USB modem, Belkin N1, Vodafone Blackberry Pearl 8100, The Print Shop Deluxe Version 22, Evernote 1.5, Maxtor Shared Storage II 1TB, Asus F3Jm, HP Ipaq RX4540, Medieval II: Total War (PC), Neverwinter Nights 2 (PC), Cricket 2007 (PS2), Justice League Heroes and Marvel Ultimate Alliance.

On the online side, some of my older buyer’s guides have also just gone up at the Netguide Web site, covering Digital Cameras under $500, Portable Photo Printers, Portable Music & Video Players and Net Communication Devices.

The fine folks at CNET.com.au have also been busy little beavers — I wonder what happens to the slovenly, lazy beavers? Or beavers with chronic fatigue syndrome? Or smoking beavers? Do they all sit outside the dam, puffing away and bitching about how hairy Harry keeps gnawing the best logs? That doesn’t relate much to the very busy beavers at work at CNET.com.au, who inbetween blocking the world’s waterways for their own amusement* have published another one of my reviews:

Dopod P800W: “We still couldn’t think of any description to put on it that was better than describing it as the Frankenstein’s Monster of smartphones. Not because it has a ghastly green hue, or is covered in stitches and bolts, but simply because…”

* This is clearly a lie. To the best of my knowledge, CNET Networks Australia does not in fact employ semi-aquatic rodents native to North America and Europe of the family Castoridae. Did you know that the leading cause of death amongst beavers is being squished by the trees that they’re trying to fell? I wonder if they make a squeaky sound as they splatter?

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