Way back when I was just a little bitty boy…

Ah, Albequerque — perhaps the Weird Al song I’ve used most for subject lines. Being over ten minutes long doesn’t hurt any in terms of lyric choices, of course.
What probably does hurt me is my diet, specifically junk food. On Sunday, I was having lunch with my esteemed brother in the local food court, and hied me hither to the nearest Burger King. Where, for reasons that still elude me, they were opening up a box of solid vegetable oil on the counter. With a machete. As you do.
Solid Vegetable Oil, it should be said, isn’t the most appetising stuff on the planet, and the sight of it being extracted, one white brick-sized chunk at a time was a strong disincentive to eat there*.
While I was waiting for my meal, I noted with some interest two odd little factoids about the vegetable oil

  • It wasn’t just “Vegetable Oil”, it was “Superior Vegetable Oil”. Do humble plants have delusions of grandeur? Did the company involved previously only use really crappy plants, or something? I’m getting images of a carrot in a KKK robe now, for some reason.
  • It wasn’t just “Superior Vegetable Oil” — it had a “New Improved Formula” too. How? I mean, they’re vegetables — well, probably some kind of seed, actually, but anything’s possible. Burger King might be frying its chips in pure potato oil, which feels vaguely cannibalistic to me, somehow.

Enough of this vegetable oil fixation. All things being well, my cat (who was daft enough to ingest some elastic and then end up with it wound around bits of its lower intestine early last week, requiring emergency surgery) will be heading home shortly… as long as I can pay the rather hefty Vet bill, that is.
I know! I’ll write something, and somebody can publish it and pay me for my work! It’s such a wacky idea, it just might work!
First, at PC Authority:
Mac Authority: Apple relaxing iPhone rules, developers winning big : “Sure, Steve Jobs is taking a leave of absence – perhaps permanently. But it’s in some unusual strategic decisions that Apple’s made recently that you can see Apple changing even more, argues Alex Kidman.”
And then at CNET.com.au:
NetComm NB12WD MyCommsGateway: “NetComm’s all-in-one broadband, wireless and VoIP solution makes for a pretty package, but we were still left wanting just a little bit more.”
*Sadly, for my waistline and arteries, I still did. Hey, I’d paid for it! I wasn’t going to not eat it after that!

Author: Alex

Alex Kidman is a multi-award winning Australian technology writer, former editor at Gizmodo, CNET, GameSpot, ZDNet, PC Mag, APC, Finder and as a contributor to the ABC, SMH, AFR, Courier Mail, GadgetGuy, PC & Tech Authority, Atomic and many more. He's been writing professionally since 1998, and his passions include technology, social issues, education, retro gaming and professional wrestling.

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