Q: What’s wet, hard, long and wakes up Alex at 2am with a loud bang?
A: Not what you were thinking. Stop it — you’ll go blind.
The correct answer is, surprisingly, “a plant in my bedroom”.
Except by “plant”, I don’t mean “that wacky talking cactus with the Groucho Marx moustache and the Mexican accent telling pirate jokes”. I mean “thumping great tree branch, spearing down out of the sky and creating a large hole in the bedroom roof” type of plant thing. The water that drips in continually is, of course, a courtesy afterthought.
On the plus side, the talking cactus has been stunned into silence.
I was going to answer “a large whale landing on the ground near a shattered bowl of petunias” but I think your story has more of a ring of credulity to it.
And now I know how to keep a cactus quiet. Nice.
Yours is good, too. Tonight, it’s “idiots in utes doing burnouts down our quiet street, keeping us awake”. It’s going to be this kind of weekend, clearly.
In an ironic twist to the current extremely wet weather, we’ve had no running water intermittently since last night. The council recons that it’s a busted water main, but I have my doubts.
Glad to hear that your sense of humour, or any other part of you, was pierced by the new “Skylights are Us” service provided by the Bereau of Meterology.
That should have been “wasn’t pierced”. Whoops!
This post soooo needs a visual. How about a pic of that branch through your roof?
Yup, shall do. Have been busy dealing with insurance people and the like. That, and a fridge that wants to ice up about 1cm per day. It’s on a personal crusade against global warming, 1cm of ice per day…