A robot with a "Kn0wl1dggb0tt" logo on the front. Its face looks like a search engine.

Short Story Challenge Week 34: Kn0wl1dggb0tt

With a title like that, the search results for this week’s short story are going to be… interesting.

Back once again on my creative kick, with the 34th story in my year-long challenge to write a short story every week for a year. This week’s tale is very much inspired by this week’s tech news — which you can hear about over at Vertical Hold: Behind The Tech News if you’re podcast-inclined.

Need to catch up on my short stories?

You can read every previous short story here.

Want even more?

This isn’t my first short story challenge.

It’s a repeat of a challenge I did a few years back which led to an entire collection of short stories, which you can (and should) buy as an eBook:


Buy Fifty Two through Amazon for your Kindle e-reader here.

Buy Fifty Two through Apple for your iPad or iOS devices/Macs here.

Buy Fifty Two through Smashwords for any other e-reader format here.


Want something notably different and considerably longer? There’s also my B-movie novel, Sharksplosion. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d think a book with that title might be like.


Buy Sharksplosion for Amazon Kindle

Buy Sharksplosion for iBooks (iPhone, iPad, etc)

Buy Sharksplosion for all other e-readers through Smashwords


Enough of the eBook plugging, Alex.

Kn0wl1dggb0tt

A robot with a "Kn0wl1dggb0tt" logo on the front. Its face looks like a search engine.

1/9/2001
Hey Kn0wl1dggb0tt, what will the weather be like tomorrow?

I found four results.

According to weathernearyou, tomorrow the weather will be 27 degrees celsius.

According to weathertrenz, tomorrow the weather will be 13 degrees celsius.

According to cityweathernow, tomorrow the weather will be 55.4 degrees farenheit.

According to MiWeather, tomorrow the weather will be $DATASTRINGNOTFOUND.

2/10/2002

Hey Kn0wl1dggb0tt, what were the names of the seven dwarves?

I found twelve results.

The Seven Dwarves are Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful and Sneezy.

3/5/2003

Hey Kn0wl1dggb0tt, are there any good restaurants nearby?

I do not understand “nearby”

Hey, Kn0wl1dggb0tt, are there any good restaurants in Hobart?

I found three results.

Gaston’s has a rating of 4/5 stars according to 27 reviews, mostly positive.

2/2/2004

Hey Kn0wl1dggb0tt, when is the next Grand Theft Auto game being released?

I found 1,597 results.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas will release on 26/10/2004.

I found three sites offering the game for pre-order. Would you like to visit them?

5/7/2009

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, how is spam made?

I found 367,192 results.

Best result: I found this video entitled “This is Hormel”. Would you like to view it online?

10/5/2010

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, when were the September 11 attacks?

I found 1,972,555 results.

The September 11 attacks were on September 11.

23/1/2012

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, what’s on my calendar for today?

Today you have a meeting with Simon in the Broadmeadow room from 9:30 to 11:00.

You have a lunch meeting with Sarah at 1pm.

There are no other appointments on your calendar at this time.

Would you like me to create one?

18/04/2014

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, play me some light music

Which speaker would you like me to play the music on?

The kitchen speaker

Now playing “Music To Chill To” on Kn0wl1dggb0tt Music.

19/04/2014

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, where is my phone?

I am unable to locate your phone at this time. Would you like me to remotely lock it when it next comes online?

Yes.

An automatic lock has been placed on “Dave’s Phone”.

19/04/2014

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, where is my phone?

I am unable to locate your phone at this time. Would you like its alarm to play the next time it comes online?

Yes.

An alarm tone will play on “Dave’s Phone” the next time it registers online.

20/04/2014

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, any sign of my phone?

I do not possess a camera. Would you like to order the optional camera accessory for Kn0wl1dggb0ttDisplayMax?

No. Kn0wl1dggb0tt, where is my phone?

Your phone was last seen online four days ago. Would you like to order a replacement?

Yes.

11/08/2015

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, call an ambulance!

Now placing call to 1800Ambulance.

Call placed.

Remain calm and try to staunch any bleeding until the ambulance arrives, which will be in approximately…

Seven minutes from now.

Would you like me to play some relaxing music?

13/2/2016

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, can you order a dozen red roses and a bottle of merlot to arrive here today?

You are not currently subscribed to Kn0wl1dggb0ttDirectShip. Would you like to subscribe for $7.99/month recurring to get fast-direct-guaranteed shipping for your order within two hours?

Yes.

Verbal signature recorded.

I found 24 bottles of merlot on special at Kn0wl1dggb0ttDrinkStore. Would you like to browse the selection on your Kn0wl1dggb0ttPad?

22/9/2016

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, how much should I spend on an engagement ring?

According to the experts at Kn0wl1dggb0ttJewellery, love knows no bounds when it comes to a lifetime’s commitment.

There is a special sale on right now if you act before 28/9/2016.

Engagement ring prices start at $999.99.

Would you like to speak to a consultantbot now?

13/4/2017

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, where did I leave my keys?

They are on the dining room table, Dave.

7/8/2018

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, what were the names of the seven dwarves?

The Seven Dwarves are Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful and Sneezy.

You last asked this question on 2/10/2002.

Would you like to subscribe to Kn0wl1dggb0ttTVPlus where you can stream this movie and thousands of others?

No, I’m just trying to win this online quiz, Kn0wl1dggb0tt.

Use of online search results when playing Kn0wl1dggb0ttQuiz is prohibited, Dave.

You have been banned from playing Kn0wl1dggb0ttQuiz.

Got any feedback? Send it to support@Kn0wl1dggb0ttquiz.co.tv

2/2/2022

Kn0wl1dggb0tt, why did she leave me?

I think you know the answer to that question, Dave.

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