Neither rain, nor snow, nor blinding sinus infection…

I just spent the last three days in bed. It’s not as much fun as it sounds; rather than, say, three days in bed with my nearest and dearest, a magnum of champagne and a few dozen oysters, this was instead three days of blinding pain, sinus infection and a fever that left me sweating so much the sheets were continually being drenched… and then dried out by the heat of my body.
How bad was the pain, I hear you ask? (you’re a bloodthirsty lot, I’ll say that…).
Well, imagine a large steel support pole, in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. A young, 70’s-era Lou Ferrigno is sitting on the ground, absolutely enraged at this pole for some reason. And as you probably know, you wouldn’t like him when he’s mad. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a baseball bat. It’s studded with small chunks of glass, and  reinforced with bands of titanium. A serious, heavy-duty hitter, this bat is. He picks it up, takes a nice run-up, and swings with all the might his rather hefty shoulders right at the pole. The force of his swing shatters the bat, driving splinters of wood, titanium and glass flying everywhere. Almost spent with exhaustion, he glances up at the pole. It’s scratched, but still standing. This enrages him more, and then he spots another bat, magically appearing…
Now, repeat that swinging process at my head, roughly every five seconds. And that’s after taking multiple painkillers. At certain points, I’d swear I was actually blind, and certainly delirious from all accounts. Thank God for large horse-tablet-sized antibiotics, says I. Also, thank God for my mother, who coincidentally happened to be visiting, as Di came down with the viral side of my infection as well.
Somehow, in the middle of all this, I managed to get a review submitted, and it’s been published today at
Engin Voicebox 3102: “Annoyingly, we couldn’t figure out a way to force the 3102 to use the POTS line; this may be important in certain emergency situations, but in our case we were merely trying to call for a pizza, and the VoIP line routed us to the wrong store…”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.