How to make an ice cream donut sandwich (but why would you want to?)

ICDS_PinkDonut
Yeah, this isn’t my usual blogging fare. Blame George Takei. Because it’s totally his fault. Here’s how to make an Ice Cream Donut sandwich in detail. With photos. Because… actually, that’s the bit I’m not sure about.
When I say it’s his fault, I mean that quite literally, because yesterday, George Takei posted this to his very popular Facebook page, and it ended up in my feed.

Oh My.
Oh My.

Ever seen an ad for a food — or even just a box or bag of it on a store shelf — and thought to yourself “Wow. That looks… weird… BUT I TOTALLY WANT TO TRY ONE!!!!”
That’s pretty much my thought pattern, verbatim, right there.
This presented some challenges, however, as, while George is a very talented actor, he didn’t actually state where he’d seen this particular concoction for sale. Actually, that wouldn’t help much anyway. As far as I can tell, George splits his time between the United States and the deck of the Enterprise, and both of those locales are a little far away from me.
Clearly, I was going to have to get inventive. Luckily, I have some form in this department, although it’s a skill set I haven’t had to engage for some time now. A couple of years ago when I was on the staff at Gizmodo Australia, we tried our hands at more than a few… “interesting” concoctions.
Like working out how to make bacon milkshakes.
Or whether or not Vegemite makes a suitable soft drink.
Or the many and varied things you can do with a 12kg Gummy Bear.
(Yes, some of those are written by Angus Kidman. I’m not him, but we’re related, and we worked together. If you’re reading this, chances are you knew that already…)
Now, I could have gone the whole hog and decided to make my ice cream donut sandwiches in a mall setting, as per George’s post, but that seemed very impractical to me. I’d have to find somewhere to prep the ingredients, the ice cream would melt, and photography would be a nightmare. Plus, it’s nearly always going to be more economical to engage in DIY kitchen monstrosities in the comfort of your own home, if only because I’d then have some decent ice cream and donuts to eat normally.
First step was buying the core ingredients.
This is not, it should be noted, a complicated recipe.
This is not, it should be noted, a complicated recipe.

My choice of donuts were cheap. Freelancing isn't a high-income job (and I was rather hoping the ice cream would "improve" them a little).
My choice of donuts were cheap. Freelancing isn’t a high-income job (and I was rather hoping the ice cream would “improve” them a little).

You could use any ice cream you like. I have no idea what that multi-colour monstrosity in Georges photo actually is, but I worried that the relatively budget donuts might be a bit bland, so the bite of cookies 'n' cream had appeal.
You could use any ice cream you like. I have no idea what that multi-colour monstrosity in George’s photo actually is, but I worried that the relatively budget donuts might be a bit bland, so the bite of cookies ‘n’ cream had appeal.

Strictly speaking, an Om Nom spoon is not required.  But it made for slightly brighter photos, and felt like it was in the "fun" spirit of the recipe.
Strictly speaking, an Om Nom spoon is not required. But it made for slightly brighter photos, and felt like it was in the “fun” spirit of the recipe.

Bisecting the donut is actually the hardest part, because if you slice too thin, your sandwich will crumble. I've chosen a manly pink donut, because it's all about ethics in donut preparation, or something.
Bisecting the donut is actually the hardest part, because if you slice too thin, your sandwich will crumble. I’ve chosen a manly pink donut, because it’s all about ethics in donut preparation, or something.

For such a ludicrous recipe, a little restraint is called for in the ice cream department. Too much, and you'll overpower the donut. Also, it's right about now that I realise that as photogenic as Om Nom Spoon is, it's tough to get him to let go of the ice cream.
For such a ludicrous recipe, a little restraint is called for in the ice cream department. Too much, and you’ll overpower the donut.
Also, it’s right about now that I realise that as photogenic as Om Nom Spoon is, it’s tough to get him to let go of the ice cream.

So I used another spoon to "convince" Om Nom to let go of the ice cream. Naughty Om Nom!
So I used another spoon to “convince” Om Nom to let go of the ice cream. Naughty Om Nom!

The assembled Ice Cream Donut Sandwich in all its glory. Now, how to eat it?
The assembled Ice Cream Donut Sandwich in all its glory. Now, how to eat it?

You've got to be careful, you see, because if there'a  lot of frosting on the donut, it'll get messy VERY quickly.
You’ve got to be careful, you see, because if there’a lot of frosting on the donut, it’ll get messy VERY quickly.

Recipe variance is not only easy, but encouraged. Especially if you buy a box of mixed donuts.
Recipe variance is not only easy, but encouraged. Especially if you buy a box of mixed donuts.

A threesome of Ice Cream Donut sandwiches.  Also a cautionary tale; notice how on the other pink donut I sliced a little too close to the top, and it collapsed. The first bite, as they say, is with the eye.
A threesome of Ice Cream Donut sandwiches.
Also a cautionary tale; notice how on the other pink donut I sliced a little too close to the top, and it collapsed. The first bite, as they say, is with the eye.

So what’s an Ice Cream Donut sandwich actually like?
Not bad. Not bad at all. As noted, I’d been a little worried that my economy when it came to donut buying might leave things bland, but the bite through the donut and into the ice cream merges the sweet and cold notes quite nicely. Naturally, there’s a fairly heavy sugar rush as well, and I can’t and won’t say how many calories these things have. My kids ate the other three, noting that they were “weird… but interesting!”
Cleanup afterwards is a simple process. It's called "Washing the dishes". I don't have to write a blog post about how to do that, do I? Isn't it obvious?
Cleanup afterwards is a simple process. It’s called “Washing the dishes”.
I don’t have to write a blog post about how to do that, do I? Isn’t it obvious?

So would I bother doing it all over again, and is it still all Sulu’s fault?
Well, yes, it is, and to be honest while they’re nice, I wouldn’t bother specifically shopping this way. But if I had donuts and some ice cream cooling in the freezer — like I do right now — and it was a hot day, I could be awfully tempted. Nobody tell my dentist, OK?

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