How hard can it be to write instructions for a headset?

Further adventures in very strange translations await…
Aside from the mighty (for exceptionally low values of “mighty”) Dragon GB-150, I also got a few bits and bobs delivered yesterday from the same cheapy Chinese company. A new (shaky but cheap) Tripod. A USB DS/DSi/PSP charging cable. An iPhone case. All sans instructions and stupidly cheap*, but that’s OK. They plug in or assemble and just “do”.
And a new Xbox 360 headset. A cheap one, but that’s fine, as long as it works. I popped it out of its box and popped it on, and it seems to fit and work just fine. It was only as I was tidying up right now that I noticed that the back of the annoying blister pack packaging — which was heading straight for the recycling bin — had instructions on it. Instructions? For a headset? Was I missing some wonderful feature that I’d otherwise be blissfully ignorant of?

It’s impossible to say. Some of the instructions just about make sense.
“The supplementary volume control and muting switches allow the customer to regulate the headphones volume or cut over the mute appearance.”
“Reducing in weight of, the wear type desigh brings the more comfortable usage experience.”
Yeah, I get what they’re trying for there. Still not sure I need it written down, but what the heck.
What the heck indeed, as the rest of it translates as… well, I’ll let it “speak” for itself:
“Promote the on-line community experience of the X- box Live of the unprecedented in history, let you draw up the strategy with member of team, the interference opponent or while play favorite game with the friend chat.”
I think I get what this means. Just.
“You can make serve to record for friend or family and stay the speech message through the free Xbox Live Letter, can also replace telephone and good friend contact.”
It does speech. Beyond that, I’m a bit lost what they’re talking about here.
“Open loudly or adjust the small voice, make experience personally    the most vigorous game career to make possible”
No, sorry, you’ve lost me there.
“The ear Michael with put X-360 hand handles or the X-box lead-in hand handles of X-box very easily and directly.”
What on earth is an “ear Michael”? Sounds rather ominous, all things considered. Unless you’re called Michael, in which case, this headset’s been built specifically for you.
On the plus side, it does seem to work, it was an order of magnitude cheaper than anything available locally, and it doesn’t come with any illegal NES roms. Well, not that I’ve noticed. Based on those instructions, anything’s possible.
*Make a note kids. If you ever want to be rich… or even financially sound.. then tech journalism isn’t the job for you!

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