Daylight come and me wanna go home…

October’s been a long, hard month. And it’s still going on. Mostly it’s been a long, hard working month, interspersed with trips to Queensland and entire days spent in a morgue. I may, or may not have slept in the month of October, but it doesn’t feel like it right now.

One upside of working like the proverbial pack mule is that stuff gets published on a very regular basis. If I’ve been a good boy, and I’m very lucky, I might even get paid, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. has a new review of mine up today:

i-mate K-JAM: “This isn’t a phone to bring out to impress your pub mates, although it’s conceivable you might get the odd envious glance from within the corporate boardroom while wielding one…”

Dear Microsoft…

Dagnars Falls, New South Wales
Dagnars Falls is located in a national park near Armidale, New South Wales, in Australia.

Microsoft ® Encarta ® 2007. © 1993-2006 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Umm… no, they’re not. Dangars Falls are, though. And just in case the pedantry police are on my case, I wouldn’t really be bringing this up, except that I noted exactly the same error… almost two years ago. Doesn’t really build confidence in products, now does it?

Hunt the wumpus

How I’m faring today:


Not to scale. I probably don’t have that much energy, either.

Yeah, OK, crappy animated GIFs stolen from the Web are very 1998, but I did say I was lacking in energy…

The voices are back… they’re telling him what to do

A Howard Jones lyric, for what it’s worth, but it seems fitting, as I can talk beyond a croak today.

While I was in the land of the silent, however, a number of my written works made their way to the great unwashed public. In the print world, the November issue of Netguide Magazine has been frolicking on store shelves for a little while now. Inside, you’ll find a roundup of portable photo printers, along with suitable sub-$500 digital cameras to run them, all written by yours truly. Not content with that, there’s also the ever-exciting Broadband table (I’m sure that somebody reads it avidly before going to bed), as well as standalone reviews of :
Dragon Naturally Speaking 9 Preferred, 3D Home Architect Landscape and Patio Design, The Ultimate Troubleshooter, Lexmark C500 SOHO Laser Printer, Iomega MiniMax Desktop Hard Drive, Sony DVD WALKMAN DVE7000S, Linksys WRT300N Wireless-N Broadband Router, Nokia E61, Philips VoIP321, GTR 2 (PC), Joint Task Force (PC), Saints Row (Xbox 360) and Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy (every format known to man, not including actual Lego).

I’ve also been busy on the Web front, with a trio of reviews going live at

D-Link DSL-G604T: “D-Link’s DSL-G604T is a ADSL2/2+ modem router with some serious stability issues…”
(I’ve even written an extra bit of feedback on this review, as some readers took rather a lot of exception to it. I don’t often comment on reviews once written, often because I don’t usually have the products any more to test additional claims, but more frequently because it can be the result of trolling, or get rather personal rather quickly — and thus unproductive. It could be interesting to see how this one pans out.)

iConnect Access 624W: “In physical design terms, the iConnect Access 624W looks like a router. Pretty much any router, in fact. If you pushed us, we’d probably fall over…”

Telstra TicTalk: “Parents: How do you feel about your children being beaten up? Some would say that it builds character. Others would suggest that it instead builds lifelong psychological scarring and the odd broken bone…”

She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean…

I’ve done quite a few interesting things in the past three days, with only the one major side effect; I’ve lost my voice. So if you needed to call me, for whatever reason, you’d be far better off with an email, unless you like croaking…

On the plus side, and in no particular order, over the last weekend, I have:

  • Broken a Jet boat, and been stranded near a floating bus stop.
  • Been on a plane piloted by a Hobbit. Well, that’s the only conclusion I can come to, given two clues: A rather bumpy landing (Hobbits would have trouble reaching all the controls) and the fact that his name was announced as (and I swear I’m not making this up) as Stumpy Longbottom.
  • Drunk my own body weight in Bourbon & Coke. Apparently so much (in a group of fellow journalists) that the bar ran dry. I’m blaming APC’s Dan Chiappini for all of this, and I suspect he’s blaming me.
  • Discovered that otherwise ordinary T-shirts have a gender. I wonder how they procreate?
  • Made a complete and utter fool of myself by tumbling off a chair sideways. In the middle of a press briefing. Before anyone (myself included) had touched a single fermented drop of anything.
  • Won rather resolutely in a not-always-friendly game of Poker. On an all-in, last hand of the night gamble. Which I won on the River. Given my usual run of luck in such things, I’m not sure how I pulled that one off.

Just in case I get accusations of being some kind of workshy scrounger, I’d also point out that I’ve gone to product sessions, chatted to printer company representatives and generated plenty of story ideas and future story pitches in the midst of all of this. Sometimes, as with the chair incident, right in the middle of it. It’s all in the name of the career, folks.
So what led to this particular set of consequences? Well, those of you who like visual clues can click here to figure it all out.

I say “We’re goin’ to the drive-thru!”


Wikipedia has an entry for Exploding Head.

Back to what you were doing, now.

Interrupt the flow, they better not dare…

Another day, another review.

Pioneer HTP-GS1: “As a compromise position to keep cables from becoming tripwires and gaming sessions becoming grounds for divorce, it worked acceptably well…”

You’d better forget it… You’ll never get it has my review of the O2 XDA Stealth up today, a review in which I almost totally blow my chances of being invited to one of Kirstie Alley’s lavish Hollywood parties. See if you can spot where.

Remember: Give early, give often…

Next Saturday, while I’m busily ensconced in printers, racecars and leggy models — but probably mostly printers — my lovely wife will be taking part in the Cancer Council Relay For Life, to raise money for Cancer research and support of Cancer sufferers.

I know what you’re thinking (it’s handy having psychic powers at a time like this) — How can I give to this most worthy of causes? Well, that’s easy — just head here  and donate. Give until it hurts, and then give a little more…

People up and down the street, crushing weasels beneath their feet…

That’s a Weird Al lyric, by the way, in case anyone started to instinctively call the RSPCA on me. Most of my post titles happen to come from whatever I’m listening while I write them. Sometimes it works well… and sometimes not. I’ll let you decide in this case.

The fine folks at have a new review of mine live today:

 Samsung D900 (Ultra Edition 12.9): “Samsung’s D900 proves that’s it’s entirely possible to take an existing phone design and put it on a serious slimming diet…”