Alex Kidman

Many, many things to write about — from Robotic Grannies to infants with lung infections to the bizarre sight of the rain on the plain falling mainly… in Hay. We didn’t see any residents in Hay, possibly because they were hiding in terror from the strange water falling freely from the sky…

In the meantime (and as I have a grumpy infant pestering me as I type this), CNET.com.au has published another of my reviews:

Samsung U300: “The U300 may only be a GSM phone with some rather severe limitations – but it’s dead sexy. Is that enough?”

* Alex would like to point out that he, for one welcomes our new insect overlords. He’d like to remind them that as a trusted journalist, he can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves…”

I just spent the last three days in bed. It’s not as much fun as it sounds; rather than, say, three days in bed with my nearest and dearest, a magnum of champagne and a few dozen oysters, this was instead three days of blinding pain, sinus infection and a fever that left me sweating so much the sheets were continually being drenched… and then dried out by the heat of my body.

How bad was the pain, I hear you ask? (you’re a bloodthirsty lot, I’ll say that…).

Well, imagine a large steel support pole, in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. A young, 70′s-era Lou Ferrigno is sitting on the ground, absolutely enraged at this pole for some reason. And as you probably know, you wouldn’t like him when he’s mad. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a baseball bat. It’s studded with small chunks of glass, and  reinforced with bands of titanium. A serious, heavy-duty hitter, this bat is. He picks it up, takes a nice run-up, and swings with all the might his rather hefty shoulders right at the pole. The force of his swing shatters the bat, driving splinters of wood, titanium and glass flying everywhere. Almost spent with exhaustion, he glances up at the pole. It’s scratched, but still standing. This enrages him more, and then he spots another bat, magically appearing…

Now, repeat that swinging process at my head, roughly every five seconds. And that’s after taking multiple painkillers. At certain points, I’d swear I was actually blind, and certainly delirious from all accounts. Thank God for large horse-tablet-sized antibiotics, says I. Also, thank God for my mother, who coincidentally happened to be visiting, as Di came down with the viral side of my infection as well.

Somehow, in the middle of all this, I managed to get a review submitted, and it’s been published today at CNET.com.au:

Engin Voicebox 3102: “Annoyingly, we couldn’t figure out a way to force the 3102 to use the POTS line; this may be important in certain emergency situations, but in our case we were merely trying to call for a pizza, and the VoIP line routed us to the wrong store…”

As evidenced by this review, live today at CNET.com.au

Samsung A711: “If you’re a secret agent, pressed for time and need to flee this Web page before something unspeakable happens to you, that’s pretty much the A711 in a nutshell. Hey, it could happen…”

It would seem only appropriate on the 40th Birthday of LOGO for me to point out one of my favourite opinion columns; like LOGO, it’s getting older, but it’s still good fun:

Turtley Logical: “Thirteen years ago – probably not to the day, but there’s always the possibility – a wise man said a terribly profound thing: “Have you ever seen a turtle get down? Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!”"

Mmm.. tasty. Today, the dentist plugged me full of drugs (not too bad), and then drilled holes in, well, my head. They used to call that Trepanation. I don’t think I was demon possessed when I went in, but I was definitely more cash-possessed. Oh well, time to turn out more words of wonderful prose, I suppose, before one goes broke.

And that’s as good a segue as you’ll get out of me when I’m in serious pain — the drugs having worn off by now — to some of my latest efforts. Such as the November issue of PC User Magazine, which features my reviews of Netcomm’s 200Mbps HomePlug and the HP Photosmart C5280. As well as, from the coverline, new DVD Burning Tricks. Not that I wrote that bit, but I wonder if anyone ever publishes “old” DVD burning tricks?

In the “strange things that turn up when one does a Google vanity search” department, one thing that’ll make my father proud (until he corrects me — it’s apparently a very good translation…) at CNET.FR, and another mention in Wikipedia, this time on the page dedicated to Ninja Gaiden (Xbox).