Alex Kidman

Somehow, I’ve knitted the above into a single story for APCMag.com today. Truly, my wordsmithing powers* know no bounds. Especially when the story itself is about security software:

Norton 360 to support iPad, Android: “Latest version of 360 “supports” iPad, iPhone and Android. Sort of…”

*And, clearly my humility

These are a few of my favourite thiiiiiings!

Except that, with some minor exclusions, they’re not.

What a week it’s been. One flooded office. One wife in and out of hospital. One office cleared and stuffed into every spare nook around the place to compensate. Carpet destroyed. Carpet ripped up. Office re-painted. Insurance companies screamed at.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I wrote a bunch of articles across multiple publications. First, at APCMag.com, I wrote about the one thing that could get me really excited about Microsoft Surface:

Microsoft Surface gets Dungeons and Dragons: “Porn may be out, but another great geek pastime gets the Surface treatment: Dungeons & Dragons.”

Then at PC Authority, I pondered Vivid Wireless’ exciting new data plans… or lack thereof:

Is it worth waiting for Vivid Wireless 4G? “Is it worth waiting for another contender to emerge in the wireless broadband space?”

Then at CNET.com.au, I cast my eye over a couple of external hard drives:

Hitachi SimpleDrive Mini 320GB: “Hitachi’s portable drive is a serviceable external drive that doesn’t stand out in a market awash with them.”

Hitachi SimpleTough 500GB: “An aptly named external drive; it’s simple and it’s tough.”
And lest I forget it (or forget to subject myself to ridicule surrounding my legs), the third part of the Byteside discussion is up live on YouTube:

Another frantically busy day wraps up, although nothing that quite matches yesterday’s 400-words-per-hour effort. Sure, that doesn’t sound that impressive in and of itself — but consider that in the context of being the average number of words I wrote yesterday over a fifteen hour span. I hate work days like that.

Strangely, you won’t see too many of those words very quickly, so I’d better have something else to distract you with. If only, say, the CEO of the biggest telecommunications player in the country was stepping down. That’d at least be the start of a satire story — wouldn’t it? Yes, yes it would, as evidenced by this story at APCMag.com:

Bluescreen: Top Five Sol Replacements: “Hooray! It’s official — Telstra boss Sol Trujillo is quitting. Who will replace him? Bluescreen ponders the top five candidates who won’t get the job.”

Ah, Yakko. Wise beyond your years.

It’s been a weird and highly frustrating week, spent largely (and fruitlessly) trying to set down a path in my front garden, stymied at every turn by the half-truths and evasions of a certain tiling company that failed to deliver on their promises. Oh, and writing work.

I sometimes wonder if my creative juices are fired up by confrontation, or blocked by it. Based on this week (and what I suspect will happen next week, given the paving drama now will continue into next week, thanks to the idiots at Amber Tiles), I suspect that it’s the blocked scenario. I’ve just not been that creative this week in any endeavor. Which doesn’t mean I’ve not written anything, however. Wow. That’s probably my worst segue ever. Read this at APCMag.com, will you? It’ll make me feel better… or something.

Second Google Android phone — Kogan Agora — “Delayed Indefinitely”: “Got your heart set on one of Kogan’s Android phones? Too bad.”

As anyone looking inside my office could see right now.

Yes, I do still have an office, and I do still write things for money. News things, like this piece at PC Authority:

iiNet to offer Xbox downloads quota free: “Large demos no longer a quota problem. While online gaming will eat up a small portion of your quota, it’s in the field of game demos and add-on packs that this could offer significant value.”

Or this satirical piece at APCMag.com:

APC Mag submits bid for National Bluescreen Network: “Bluescreen returns, and this time, it’s all about money. Oh, and the fastest bluescreens this country has ever seen. But mostly money.”

Yeah, I do think that marks the strangest subject line I’ve ever had. I’ll blame my Vinyl-transferring ways. Although that subject line, now that I think about it, might make my father happy. Or possibly appalled.

Meanwhile, and in absolutely no context whatsoever, at APCMag.com:

Oops… AVG accidentally kills Windows: “Update to popular AV tool kills critical Windows file; AVG scrambles for a variety of fixes. Also, Hallo, Bonjour, Buon giorno, Olá and Hola, respectively.”

What a daft lyric. I mean, it’s all very inspiring and all, and I’m sure given the Proclaimers’ generally energetic walking style that it’s highly aerobic to boot… but then the 1,000 mile trek just to fall over? She’s going to take one look at the sweaty, unconscious mess in front of her, and then go off with the smarmy looking guy in the leather jacket instead, guys…

All of this has no bearing on my writing work, however. That was what you were here for, right?

Well, in a predicably Apple-y way, there’s this at PC Authority:

First Look: The New Apple Macbook: “Is Apple good at design? Usabilty? Both or neither? Also, where has all the Firewire gone? Alex Kidman has been testing Apple’s new Macbook and gives his first impressions.”

And then this news piece, with nothing to do with Apple, at APCMag.com:

Samsung announces the 7.9mm TV: “Time to throw away that existing LCD or Plasma — it’s a chunky beast. Or at least, that seems to be what Samsung, Sony and Philips are thinking.”

As apparently my eyebrows were “Too antennae-like”. So, in the name of getting a nice headshot done, I had the world’s tiniest haircut on my eyebrows only. Who said my life wasn’t sometimes surreal?

At the same time, quality Alex writing is available for your enjoyment in print and online. Just yesterday I was trying to explain all my many and varied outlets to a lovely PR person*, and I suspect confusing her terribly. In the print world, I’m naturally enough in this month’s issue of Australian Macworld, where I discuss the true terrors of technology, and specifically why describing every new smartphone as an “iPhone Killer” is quite a dumb move. It’s not quite up there with “JesusPhone” in my least favourite terminology, but it’s certainly close.

Meanwhile, the October issue of PC User Magazine features my reviews of the Samsung i8, CorelWordPerfect Office X4 Standard and the Jabra SP700 for your enjoyment.

But wait! There’s still more!

The October issue of Australian Netguide is practically overflowing with Kidman-related goodness. If you take everything that I and the clone have written, it is in fact overflowing, but only in the good, environmentally friendly, drought-breaking way. I would say search out the stuff with an “Alex” in front of it, but the deputy editor is called Alex, just to confuse matters further. So, you’ll just have to hunt down the reviews and features with both an “Alex” and a “Kidman” in front of it. This month, that includes reviews of the i-Mate Jama 201, Nokia 5310, Nokia N95, Nokia N78, Palm Centro, LG KF510, LG KF750 Secret, LG KF600, Sony Ericsson W760, Sony Ericsson C902, Sony Ericsson K660, Sony Ericsson C702, Samsung SGH-U900T, Blackberry Curve and Apple iPhone 3G. And that’s just the phone feature! You’ll also find reviews with my byline of the Iomega Media Xporter, Netgear ReadyNAS Duo RND2150, Kodak AutoMagic CD-R, MobileMe, Altec Lansing T612 Speaker Dock, ABC iView, Corel WordPerfect Office X4 Standard, Whereis Everyone, Google Lively, Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PC), Metal Gear Solid 4 (PS3), Ninja Gaiden II (Xbox 360) and Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii). And, to top things off, the Broadband Directory to Australia’s best ISP deals.

But I’m not done yet. Although I probably should be. There’s also online contributions, which today both come courtesy of APCMag.com:

Phwoah: Sony unveils 25 megapixel DSLR: “Full frame, full-fat 24.6 megapixel sensor and a fully sick blow to your wallet await.”

Qantas to offer paperless iPhone 3G check-in: “Now you’ll really hate it if you lose your boarding pass…”

* Additional points awarded for donating to my daughter’s school fete. Under the right circumstances, I can be bought… sort of. PR People, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, email me!

Another day, another news story, this time at APCMag.com:

Grand Theft Google: drive the world’s cities: “Ever wanted to hoon around the world’s major cities without getting a ticket? Thanks to a new driving simulator and Google Maps, you can do exactly that.”

At least, I think that’s what the expression on this cat means. I have no lack of cat photos at the moment, something I have to attribute to my father-in-law (but that’s another story in itself).

Speaking of another story, I have another news story live today, this time at APCMag.com:

Microsoft goes into Speed Launch mode: “No, we’re not talking about the launch of Windows 7, unfortunately. Speed Launch is a cool, free app launcher from Microsoft.”