Alex Kidman

Another patently false lyric. You just have to know where to stab…

(insert dark laughter here…)

Yeah, OK, I’m not quite that grim. I’ve just been listening to too much Alice Cooper today. Well, too much of a single Alice Cooper album anyway. This was meant to be part of my “listen to lots of new music” gambit, but instead I spent the day listening to an album I got hooked on when I lived in a heavily junkie-infested household back when I was an innocent wee eighteen year old.

Shut up! I was innocent.. once. Or maybe twice.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s influenced my writing today. Well, not much. Let’s see, shall we?

First of all, some news at APCMag.com:

MyNetfone launches Naked ADSL2+: “MyNetFone’s naked ADSL2+ packs surprisingly good value — $39 a month for 5GB peak usage. You could pay that much to Telstra just in line rental.”

Then there’s the June issue of Australian PC User Magazine, in which I’m featured pretty heavily. In TestBench, you’ll find my review of the Telstra Turbo 21 Modem. In Cool & New, my reviews of the Nokia E63, Microsoft Sidewinder X8 Gaming Mouse and DualSIM Slider, and in Games, a review of WWE Legends Of Wrestlemania, with a fabulous screenshot of “Dancing” Jim Neidhart. Well, OK, only one other person reading this blog knows why he’s “dancing” Jim Neidhart, but anyway… it’s on store shelves now. Go forth and purchase, people, otherwise I won’t be able to afford to subsidise the golfing-heavy lifestyles of certain 70′s-era Shock Rockers!

Given that’s a Prince lyric laid over a heavy guitar riff, it pretty much does mean exactly what you think it does without being incredibly explicit. For once. It is always possible that he’s running one of those little diesel trains that ferry kids around amusement parks — which is in itself a terrific mental image — but somehow I doubt it.

What of my own rides? Well, today I’m kicking off with two. First up, at APCMag.com:

Wanna design your own netbook? “Kogan plans for Netbook include community consultation.”

And then a reworking of a recent Mac column for the print version of PC Authority, now online:

Mac Authority: Where art thou Mac alternatives? “Alex Kidman gets a feel for life on the road during his quest to find the ultimate in portable Mac alternatives.”

Sadly, while it’s a fine song lyric, it’s not true. My brain woke up at 4am, and it’s been churning ever since.

That might not be good for my sleep patterns, but at least I do churn through the backlog of work that way. Like the latest Bluescreen column, live now at APCMag.com:

Internet Filters For Idiots: “Late last night, APC was approached by the Rudd Government’s department-of-leaking-stuff-to-the-opposition with secret details of the net filtering plan.”

(as sung to the tune of “Blowin’ In The Wind”)

Ah, when I was but a spritely* seventeen year old, that was the height of comedy. And a big hello to any members of 3UM who might be reading this. Which, as the odds would have it, would probably be none of you. And the rest of my reading audience are busy scratching their heads, wondering what it is that I’m blabbering on about. I’d better distract you with yet more writing work, I guess.

First up, at GadgetGuy:

HTC Touch HD: “HTC’s latest stab at an iPhone-like, touch-based phone is mostly good fun, but the fact that it still hides Windows Mobile 6 behind the scenes means that you’re in for moments of frustration.”

And then there’s this distinctly… odd.. story at APCMag.com:

Woman forced to pay cab fare with iPod: “Ex-owner unhappy, driver unhappy after iPod substituted for taxi fare. Although in the cabbie’s case it seems to be because it lacked headphones…”

*I was never really spritely, although there have been days when I’ve felt distinctly pixellated…

Must. Catch. Deadlines. Before. Become. Dead.

Meanwhile, at APCMag.com:

Nikon D90: HD video plus 12MP photography — sweet!: “Just when you thought DSLRs couldn’t go any further, say hello to the D90; one part ninja DSLR, one part high quality video camera.”

While privacy advocates argue the pluses and minuses of Google’s Street View, I’ve taken a somewhat different approach to it, as can be seen from this piece, now live at APCMag.com:

Top 10 things NOT to do with Google Street View: “How to get arrested for stalking, spot who’s growing pot and then finally assaulted by that nice “girl” you met online — all from the comfort of your chair!”

I like cats.

I also like working*, as can be seen from the wide variety of publications from which you can get your daily Alex fix. In print terms, you shouldn’t go past the June issue of Australian Macworld Magazine, in which I win millions of pesos. No, really, I do. Well, as long as that letter I got in the mail wasn’t bogus — but surely that could never happen, right? The only way you can find out is to head to your newsagency now, before copies run out.

Meanwhile, in the world of reviews, I make a long-awaited return to ZDNet Australia’s reviews pages. Sure, they re-purpose content I’ve written for CNET.com.au quite frequently — the Conceptronic Wireless review from the other day is up there right now — but this was a review specifically commissioned for ZDNet itself. I haven’t written a review for ZDNet since… well, since I was reviews editor there more than four years ago, in fact.

Mitsubishi Electric XD520U: “At AU$2199, the XD520U DLP projector sits at the top end of Mitsubishi Electric’s new “Leo” range of DLP business projectors. The XD520U performs a little bit better than its specifications might suggest, but you do pay a noise penalty in return.”

Meanwhile, I’ve been somewhat instrumental in having another publication locked up for five years. No — really — it’s once again true. Well, sort of. Read the story yourself at APCMag.com

APC Jailed for Five Years: “A US judge has jailed APC for five years for copyright infringement. Time to start singing the sad songs.”

*These segues aren’t getting any smoother, are they?

Back to the song lyrics for subject lines, I see. Bonus points for the first reader to tell me the artist and track name in this case. No clues.

Meanwhile, at an APCMag.com not very far from here:

Microsoft to re-release “every OS” to market: “Ambitious scheme to further extend Windows OS lifespan. Every Windows OS lifespan, in fact.”

And at the same time, at a GadgetGuy.com.au in the same rough vicinity:

Asus Eee PC 900: “Asus’ second take on the ultra-portable, ultra-cheap Eee PC concept has a lot going for it, including a larger screen, more storage space, Windows XP Home as a standard option and a multi-touch trackpad.”

And yet, somehow, there’s still more. The very pink June issue of Australian Netguide is out now, and the cover could (more or less) just read “Alex wrote this”. Let’s check, shall we? “Go Wireless — your no-fuss guide to networking your home PCs”. Yup, I wrote that. “Tested- Wireless Routers” — yep, that’s one of mine too.* The Alex-flavoured goodness extends within, where you’ll find reviews of the Netgear WNR834B RangeMax, Belkin N1 Vision, D-Link DIR-300, Billion BiPAC 7404 VGP-M, ASUS WL-600G, Linksys WRT160N, Netcomm BP504UK Wireless Bundle, Olympus Tough Lite 850SW, HP Pavilion tx2000, Logitech Pure-Fi Anywhere, Blaze HDTV Tuner, Moneyworks Cashbook, Carbonite, Network Magic Pro, Sony DRX-S70U, Maxtor OneTouch 4 Plus 750GB, Frontlines: Fuel Of War, Lost, Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings and Gran Turismo 5 Prologue.

Oh, and the broadband guide. Whew.

*If you want to be really concerned, 80% of the cover stories in this issue were written by Kidmans, and the only other story was written by someone also called Alex…

If you’d asked me eighteen months ago if I was going to be spending a significant amount of my writing time pursuing either Apple or ultraportable budget laptops, I would have answered “probably not”. And yet here we are, and here’s another story, live today at APCMag.com:

Asus opens up Eee PC to developers: “The Eee PC has joined the iPhone and Google Android in having a newly minted SDK being made available.”