Because some things are too cute not to share. Or, alternatively, if you prefer, because I know some very, very strange people…
When Miss Six was only Miss One (It’s sheer hell changing her name by deed poll every year, let me tell you), a good friend of mine commented that she was very pretty (clearly, she didn’t get that from me) and that when she was a teenager, I was going to have to invest in a shotgun to keep the boys from her door.
It’s a comment that stuck with me. Yesterday, a boy in Miss Six’s class gave her, quite sweetly, a little keychain loop as “jewelry”. Well, that’s what a six year old boy thinks of as jewelry, anyway. I think it’s fair to say that he’s got a very junior crush on Miss Six,which is actually exceptionally cute. Still, this brought my mind back to the shotgun comment from many years ago.
With an almost entirely comedic tone, I updated my Twitter feed with the following comment:
“Miss Six just got given some jewelry by a boy in her class. Should I pre-emptively invest in a shotgun now?”
And these were the responses I got. Names have been omitted, because they’re not that important in this context. The guilty parties know who they are.:
“if there’s one thing I’ve learned from violent video games, it’s that this bad boy ought to do the trick“
“Yes. A big shotgun.”
“Practice answering the door naked. According to the TV that is guaranteed to scare away prospective bikie boyfriends.”
“Too obvious…be more discreet.”
“Yes.”
“That’s why I’m glad I had boys first, they can do the initial ‘vetting’ for me!”
“Strongly suggest yes. Before @stephenconroy blocks them”
“Just become best mates with Master Six (I assume) That is guaranteed to make Miss Six disinterested in the new beau 
That way, she moves out and u have a new drinking buddy!”
“Depends. What are his future prospects?”
“Aww. Protective dads are sweet. Unless they’re my dad, in which case it’s annoying. 
”
The responses I got were.. well, interesting is one way to put it. Given my almost entire hatred of actual, real weaponry, I find it somewhat disturbing that the overall response was pretty much “yes, do it quickly”. I’m not sure what that says about a)What I should do and b) The kind of people I converse with online on a regular daily basis.