Monthly Archives: September 2007

I’m sorry — you’re doing WHAT?

  By Alex | September 18, 2007 - 10:26 pm | Personal
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Some stories just beggar belief…

My initial response to this story was sheer disbelief. Then I started to wonder if I had accidentally emigrated to the U.S. by accident. Then I got angry..

Random thoughts that popped through my head:

  • They’re children, not fashion accessories. There’s nothing guaranteed about IVF to begin with, and the implantation of multiple embryos could have led to zero children.
  • There are people out there — some of whom I count as good friends of mine — who love and adore children, and would rightly adore the opportunity to have them, but can’t. And there’s selfish, self-centered idiots (as this woman comes across in this particular article; sure, I don’t know her, but her actions do speak to a certain mindset) who should probably buy poodles. But then she’d probably sue anyway, because it wasn’t the right shade of peach to match the curtains, or something
  • Imagine being the “second” child. Heck, imagine being the first. At some point, if this ludicrous excuse for a case goes ahead, the mother’s going to have to get up in court and state, for the permanent record, that she only wanted (and wants) one child. Do you think either sibling is going to feel particularly loved when they find this out? How would you know if you were the “loved” or “unwanted” child? That kind of thought sends chills up my spine…
  • If you must treat your kids like furniture then you deserve to be dropped headfirst into a wood pulping machine … sorry, that is probably a little harsh. I’ll start again. If you must treat your children like fashion accessories, but don’t want the matching earrings, why not consider adoption, or fostering? I know both adoptive and foster parents — both are wonderful paths that solve all sorts of problems, and in the case of the foster parents I know, they’re amongst the most amazing people I know, full stop. Unlike, in case it wasn’t abundantly clear, my opinion of the plaintiff in this case.
  • Children are a blessing; not as this case would paint it, a curse.
  • My Machiavellian side can’t help but wonder if the medico being sued shouldn’t turn the tables on the mother. If he’s going to pay what is in effect child support, then surely he should have access to the kids (and to make it clear to them what, exactly, their mother hated about them…).

I think that rant’s actually longer than the article which “inspired” it. Which probably means I shouldn’t rant after 48 hours in which I’ve had about two hours sleep…

I’ve come to realise that you have as much right as anyone to enter the nice person of the year contest…

  By Alex | September 17, 2007 - 1:17 pm | Published
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“There’s only one thing against you. The fact that you’re a repulsive creep.”

What a wonderful show The Goodies is. If only they’d release more of them on DVD. Like, say, all of them, in season sets. And don’t give me any of that “they’re not of sufficient video quality” rubbish — it’s the jokes and writing that count, not whether or not they’re Blu-Ray suitable…Netguide Magazine. Black Pudding Extra.

What they* have released, however, is the latest issue of Netguide Magazine**. Within its Ecky-Thumpless*** pages, you’ll find my reviews of 15 different mobile phones, as well as standalone reviews of ADSL2exchanges.com.au, Netgear SPH101, Logitech Squeezebox, CA Internet Security Suite Flash Drive, Ulead Video Studio 11 Plus, Beyonwiz SP-1, Oticon Epoq Streamer, Belkin Laptop Cooling Stand, Sandisk Sansa Express, and games reviews of Transformers: The Game (PC), Call of Juarez (PC, Xbox 360), The Darkness (Xbox 360, PS3) and Flatout: Ultimate Carnage (Xbox 360).

So. Newsagents. Go. Acquire. Lest I be forced to set the Giant Kitten on you.

*Y’know. They.

**Smoooooooth segue, there, Mr Kidman. As distinct from smooth Segways, of course.

*** Is that even a word? It should be…

People called Romans they go the house? This is most irregular…

  By Alex | September 17, 2007 - 8:17 am | Humour, Personal
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What goes on tour, stays on tour, as they say. Except when it doesn’t. As in the case with this Segway-laden video.

YouTube Preview Image

I’m possibly in the background of a few shots; sadly owing to camera issues, my epic, Mano y Mano (not to mention Brother y Brother) Segway battle was not immortalised for the ages. Not that it was much of an epic struggle. More of a “one participant whizzes around the course at top speed, only to stop at the end of the course as he realises his elder opponent has not only crashed into a table, but also somehow a wall” type of battle. A pity — if I’d displayed some true Roman ruthlessness and whizzed home rather than stopping to check that he wasn’t in fact dead, I would have made the semi-finals..

Thanks are due to our man in the Hague… sorry, I’ll read that again, our man The Hague, AKA VB The Dog, for the video footage.

Here I was thinking that what I needed was a lawnmower…

  By Alex | September 14, 2007 - 2:27 pm | Humour
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When in fact, what I wanted was a tank. From this story at the ABC:

“The Defence Department is urging war veterans and historical groups to write in and tell them why they deserve a free decommissioned Leopard Tank.”

Tanks. That have never been used. No, nothing could possibly go wrong with giving members of the general public one of those.

Thought: It’d make a great and distinctive Aussie bloke’s shed. Do you reckon they’d hand one over on that basis?

Second Thought: “Tonight, on Better Homes and Gardens, we show you how to turn that decommissioned Leopard Tank into a planter pot…”  

Insert your own “Vwommm… Vwommm…” noises here.

  By Alex | September 13, 2007 - 4:45 pm | Humour, Personal
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lucsaber.jpg

And he’s never even seen Star Wars. Well, not yet. His older sister has, but she only liked the droids, because they were (in her words) “all sparkly”.

Still, years from now, I’ll be able to look at this photo with my son, and say to him “Luc… I am your father!”

(Alex ducks pre-emptively. Please remember to take the tomatoes out of the can first before throwing)

Lifestyles of the poor and sleepy…

  By Alex | September 12, 2007 - 1:00 pm | Published
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Back from the Influence forum (sadly without a personalised Segway, but you can’t have everything) — those who want to gawk at a bed I’ve slept in (although it feels right now like I didn’t actually sleep all that much, or not as much as I should have)  should check out my brother’s Junket vlog here. While he was filming that, I was busy playing with mobile phones, which led to the following two previews at CNET.com.au– and it’s been quite a while since I’ve written a product preview, as distinct from a review, which might explain the rather brief style. Well, that, and the fact that one of the phones I was previewing refused to actually switch on, which is always a challenge to the ol’ creativity:

Samsung U100: ” The Samsung U100 resembles the Motorola MOTOFONE F3, albeit a MOTOFONE with plenty of bling added on the sides…”

Samsung U300: ” The Samsung U300 is the U100′s bigger brother; it’s a thin clamshell model with a shiny metallic finish…”

I’m a walking medical miracle…

  By Alex | September 10, 2007 - 5:41 pm | Humour, Published
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Somehow, after eating my body weight in Mentos, I managed to survive drinking a glass of Coke. Which is, technically, meant to be suicide. Or something.

Clearly, like Clubber Lang, I am the baddest man in the world.

Or perhaps not.

While I was testing the boundaries of science, gastronomy and common sense, I was also having another story published at CNET.com.au:

Sony Ericsson MRC-60: “The MRC-60 does a good job of interfacing between your Sony Ericsson Mobile phone and your home stereo system — as long as you’ve got the correct phone…”