So, it’s lunchtime, and I’m taking a work break. And the SuperBowl is on the TV. And Prince is playing the half-time show. And it’s at Dolphins Stadium. Sure, the Phins aren’t actually playing — no great shock considering their woeful performance this year — but still, that’s a mandatory ticket for me to plant myself firmly on the sofa, with only the threat of an oxy-acetylene torch able to move me.
Except.. hang on. The cat seems to be chasing something.
No. It couldn’t be — could it?
Sigh. Yes, yes it is.
The stupid lizard is BACK. So, instead of sitting down to what looked to be an explosive onstage performance (sheet rain notwithstanding), I spend half-time crawling around under the sofa, trying to catch this clearly suicidal skink before the cat can.
Those worried that he became cat food can rest easy — this is a shot of him outside, showing his tail still not returning. All I can think is that he is in fact suicidal — perhaps Mrs Skink ran off with the milkman (do Skinks have milk delivery people… erm.. skinks? Probably not.), or he’s got bad debts with the Skink Mafia or something. Heh. Skink Mafia. I can picture it now: “You pay up your money, or your tail comes off… oh. Too late.”
I don’t suppose the NFL would consider hiring Prince again for next year’s half-time show, just so I can watch it live?
[editor's update: I found the tail about ten minutes after posting this, so it's clearly not the same skink. Which either means I have TWO stupid skinks in the garden to deal with, or it was a Skink Mafia Enforcer, looking for the previous trespasser.]
I mean, I review routers. And Thumbdrives. And headsets. Dull stuff, to be sure.
Not life-enriching, waist expanding Snack Foods, as in this site, which describes itself as the “Premier Snack Review Portal” for the UK. I never even knew there was a battle for supremacy! Now, if you’ll excuse me, a Double Chocolate and Raspberry Tim Tam is calling my name…
Curse you, Mr Powell.
That’s my productivity stuffed for the day, then.
It’s a wet and rainy day, so in order to keep the kids under control — is such a thing just a pipe dream? — I decided to show them how to make Space Invaders. Hey, what can I say — I’m a sucker for the classics.
The problem, of course, is that you start with this:
Along came an invader
But Invaders never travel through the dark inky night alone, you know…
Soon there were two. Zoe tells me that this is a “Girl” Invader. I guess they’ve got to reproduce somehow, what with the appalling casualty rate for this 30 year old war…
And then there were three. I showed Zoe and James how Invaders moved, making the obligatory “Dutt Dutt Dutt Dutt, Dutt Dutt Dutt Dutt” noise as it went from side to side, and James decided that they were called “Dutt-Dutts”. Perhaps he’s right, and the noise is in fact the Invaders trying to communicate with us warmongering Earthlings…
Uh oh. It’s a full-scale invasion. Better call in Earth’s only hope.
Thankfully, tanks are a lot easier to build than Space Invaders. Should have this invasion sorted out in a jiffy.
So I shot him for trespassing.
Did I err?
I have a frog.
Welll, of a sort. He’s just a temporary Frog; this time next week he will be no more. He’s not even, as the subject line suggests, a European Fire-Bellied Toad — he’s just a Frog.
Being transitory is, however, no excuse for being The Frog With No Name. In order to avoid this terrible fate, I think he needs one — any suggestions?
No, Kermit’s already taken…
Wikipedia has an entry for Exploding Head.
Back to what you were doing, now.
Every year, when the winners of the IgNobel prizes are announced, I have that very thought…
(The actual recipients list isn’t yet up at the Annals Of Improbable Research site yet, but here’s the Wikipedia entry for all the previous winners.). Then again, looking at that list reminds me that, improbably, somebody’s patented the comb-over, thus requiring me to shave my head yet again to avoid the costly patent fees.
In order to cover some of the court costs — and while I work out what particular field of research is as yet both ludicrous and untapped by human endeavour to undertake — I continue to write.
Bear witness, for example, to the November 2006 issue of Australian PC User, out now on store shelves. Aside from all its other worthy contents — and for the edification of my in-laws, there’s a good roundup of digital video cameras within — I’ve got a review of the Philips VOIP 321 Skype phone in its pages. PC User content, for whatever reason, doesn’t tend to end up online, so go forth and buy a copy now. You never know — when I’m presented with my IgNobel prize, I might just mention you in the 1-minute acceptance speech*
*but that’s pretty unlikely. Improbable you might say. Hey — there’s an idea. Has anyone done any statisical analysis into the wallet contents of IgNobel prize winners? I’m willing to undertake the research, if there’s a grant for it going begging…
Especially after the review-destroying suicidal Xbox 360 hard drive incident over the weekend…
Stolen from b3ta.com. Hey, it’s Monday. The least creative work gets done on a Monday. It’s a fact; you can look it up*
*OK, you can’t actually look it up, and it isn’t a fact. I made it up. Are you happy now?
Now there’s a set of words that don’t often travel together.
Link stolen via Slashdot, via GameTab, blah, blah, blah, nothing’s ever new or original any more, blah, blah, blah, whatever happened to the ice cream burger?, blah, blah, blah, atom bomb..