Why, this very morning while I was digging up large chunks of my front garden — or in the case of some of the more clay-bound soil, scraping up tiny and tedious portions of garden — my written works were appearing for your reading pleasure, this time thanks to the fine and festive folks at CNET.com.au:
HP Compaq Presario B1900: “To be honest, we’re not that happy resting our palms on a pocket knife…”
Telstra F850: “Ever heard of ZTE Corporation?”
So I shot him for trespassing.
Did I err?
What will almost certainly be the last review of mine published in 2006 — I’ve got plenty to do, but not much of it due before the 31st, which kinda lessens the odds of it going up — has gone live today at CNET.com.au:
i-mate JASJAM: “While the ability to plug a 2-megapixel camera into the JASJAM is all well and good, it’s probably not a feature that’s going to endear it to your IT purchasing department if you’re looking at it from an enterprise buying position…”
I’ve been a busy boy. But hopefully nobody will find the bodies, the hacksaw or the length of rubber tubing.
Let’s start again, shall we? I’ve been a busy boy, writing, writing and writing some more. For example, issue 104 of Netguide Magazine, on store shelves now, has a whole bunch of my personally selected, lightly crumbed and sauteed words within it.
Within its in-no-way-crunchy-or-oil-drenched pages, you’ll find my reviews of portable storage drives (hard disk and flash), the best tech gadgets for under $100 (with nary a drumming USB Santa in sight), as well as standalone reviews of (pauses for requisite lengthy breathing in) Asus AIGuru Skype Phone, iConnect Access 624W Router, Google Docs & Spreadsheet, Adobe Photoshop Elements 5/Premiere Elements 3.0, Microsoft Student 2007 (complete with stupid Dangars/Dagnars Falls error), Lexmark X5470 MFD, Apple iPod Nano (8GB), Telstra TicTalk, Belkin Flip, Battlefield 2142, Sims 2: Pets, Fear: Extraction Point, Rome: Alexander, Star Wars Empire at War: Forces of Corruption, Flight Simulator X, Guitar Hero II and my daughter’s personal favourite, Buzz Junior: Jungle Party.
I’m also once again in “print” online — I guess I’m technically in “pixel”, but why quibble? — at CNET.com.au:
Road Angel Navigator 7000: “Its GPS lock did go very peculiar on us for one stretch of driving, deciding that we were in fact driving about 100m to the left of our actual current position…”
More reviews of mine are live today at GadgetGuy.com.au for your reading pleasure. Or reading displeasure, perhaps, although I don’t know why you’d bother reading things that make you actively upset. Perhaps you’re just strange that way.
Apple iPod Nano 8GB: “In its second iteration, the Nano continues to be an impressive personal music player.”
SanDisk Sansa e280: “With a price point a measly dollar below the iPod Nano/30GB Video iPod, the Sandisk Sansa e280 is a serious contender in the portable music space, especially if you’re not already an iPod owner.”
Sony NWS205F: “The NWS205F rather resembles a test tube, and the armband the inflatable cuff part of a sphygmomanometer; the end result of wearing both is that you look rather like a high-tech junkie while running with them…”
Creative Zen V Plus: “If you’ve got smaller pockets and want an exceptionally portable flash-based player, the Zen V Plus is a decent choice, although you’ll need to invest some time in getting used to its somewhat slow and quirky interface.”
Or perhaps just more stubborn, and too stupid to know the difference. Over the past two days, I’ve lugged 8 cubic metres of soil, 150 square metres of turf and a 15kg bag of Dynamic Lifter around, all in the name of making our back yard into a back lawn for the kids to play on.
Now, it’s time for a quick multiple choice question. After all this lugging, digging, hefting, spreading, laying down and intermittent grunting, does Alex have:
a) A verdant and pleasant back lawn?
b) Every muscle in his body no longer screaming at him, simply because they’re too hoarse from all the screaming?
The correct answer is, of course, c) Both. Ow.
Imagine having that on your CV.
Well, anyway, I know it’s not me. I write stuff. I present as an example of my non-clothier prowess the following two reviews, published today at CNET.com.au:
Palm Treo 680: “Palm’s latest smartphone will appeal to existing Palm users, but it still lags behind the Windows smartphone pack by a pretty clear margin…”
Helios X5000 HD Network Media Player: “When the X5000 works, it’s amongst the very best home media centres we’ve ever played with. It’s not perfect, however, in both design and implementation…”
Today, of all days, it’s quite likely to bite.
Sometimes, there are definite drawbacks to using song lyrics as subject lines. Like when your kids are listening to The Wiggles, for example.
Another drawback I find is when my somewhat faulty brain causes me to completely miss my own published works. Along with yesterday’s review of the N60i, GadgetGuy.com.au’s also posted up a GPS overview of mine:
From A to B with GPS: “As little as a decade ago, the solution would have involved a huge folding bit of paper, a fair amount of squinting and the distinct possibility of some colourful language that probably wasn’t good for the kids…”
Unfortunately, technology doesn’t allow me to upgrade my brain. Maybe next year.